I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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