I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
