I want to have your abortion
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
