You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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