Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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