Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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