Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
