why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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