You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
