BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
