I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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