I'm lost and stupid without you.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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