So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
