I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Randomize
