i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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