Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
