Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
