I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
