I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
