your parents love me but you hate me
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
