i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
