to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
