I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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