Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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