We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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