if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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