im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
