There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
