i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
