I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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