You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
