yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
