I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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