I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize
