I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
