dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
