Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
