Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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