This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
