i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
