i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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