yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
