i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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