youre lurking in front of me
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
