That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Can you bring me the toilet please
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
