i just google imaged poop.
I look better un-naked...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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