mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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