You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
