Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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