Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
