My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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